Jon Stewart

Dear Jon,

Greetings from Hell! And I don’t mean Michigan.

I arrived here a couple of months ago, and it’s really not as hot as you might expect, though it is pretty steamy. As they say, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” And you know what that means — my hair is completely out of control. I walk around looking as though I just stuck my finger in an electrical outlet. And that’s not even how I died.

We’re all big fans of your show down here. We get a decent DirecTV signal, when we’re not having one of those fire-and-brimstone storms — those aren’t too bad; I just make for the nearest Starbucks to ride it out.

Just wanted to let you know that your show does indeed make Hell a cheerier place, though you might want to tone it down a bit — I died laughing. Seriously. Then I woke up here. There are worse ways to go, I suppose, but I just don’t want you to end up down here, too. Though if you do, there’s a great comedy club down on the corner…. We’ve got some great headliners every night. I’d tell you who, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise.

Your biggest fan in Hell,

Maureen Davidson