Yoda

Dear Master Yoda:

I’m a big fan! I’ve seen all your movies, even Phantom Menace, where you looked really weird. What was up with that? Maybe something was going wrong with all the midi-chlorians, because, you know young Anakin was hogging them all up? Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I think you’re a really awesome role model and stuff.

So I’ve been doing my meditation every day, even though I can’t find a good Jedi School nearby. I can’t find any real Jedi School, really. Maybe I should move to Australia? I heard a bunch of people down there started calling themselves Jedis so the government had to finally give in and say that they were a real religion and all! I bet they have real Jedi schools down there. Do you know?

Instead, I’ve been doing some Tae Kwon Do at the community rec center, and that’s really fun. I’ve also been practicing on Dance Dance Revolution, because I figure it’s important to be agile that way, too, you know like in case I have to bust a move while slamming down on some Sith Lord’s hiney. ‘Cuz the Jedi are cool like that and I don’t want to be bringing anybody down.

I keep trying to move stuff with my mind — not like an X-wing fighter or anything, but little stuff like maybe a paperclip or my sister’s Chia Pet — but nothing’s happening. I’ve been at it for a whole month now, and still nothing. Should I keep trying every day? The first time I tried for like 20 minutes. I tried really hard but it didn’t work. I tried again the next day during social studies, but the teacher yelled at me to pay attention to the rice paddies in Indonesia instead. That really blows.

Anyway, I don’t have my own Jedi Master or anything to teach me, and I was hoping you could tell me where to find one? There’s no listing in the Yellow Pages. I checked. Also, where do I get a cool Jedi uniform? I want to dress up like Qui-Gon Jinn for Halloween, and I’ve seen all the costumes you can buy, and they totally suck. I don’t know how to sew, either. Could I learn how to do the Jedi Mind Trick and make my Mom make it for me? That would be cool.

Thanks in advance for your help.

– Justin, age 12

George Lucas

Dear Mr. Lucas:

I just heard that you’re going to develop a live-action “Star Wars” TV show! Hooray! That is just so fantastic. I know everybody says they’re such big Star Wars fans, and I’m definitely one of them. I’m so excited that Star Wars is going to be on TV with new stories!

I know that you’ll probably stay away from the major SW characters for the TV show. So who is it going to be about? Please make sure that you put Mon Mothma in there. She was so cool! Definitely the best Supreme Commander ever. Maybe you could do a story line about her younger years and how she came to first be a Senator in the Galactic Republic? Then you could get someone like Kate Winslet to play her. That would be really cool. Do you think maybe she had an affair with Bail Organa? That would be really hot.

Thanks! I can’t wait to see the show!

Sincerely,

Marci Smithfield